I grew up in a household of 8; 5 sisters and my two parents. I could feel EVERYTHING and EVERYONE’S emotions, but I didn’t realize that that was what was happening to me.
I was happy and cheerful on the outside, but anxiety-ridden and depressed on the inside. As I got into my teenage years and early 20’s, the anxiety and depression grew and it was harder and harder to ignore it and mask it. I felt like an imposter and it wreaked havoc in my life. It was so overwhelming that during my teenage years I contemplated ending everything – it had gotten that bad.
Once graduating high school and into my early 20’s I was an anxiety ridden mess; so much so, I don’t remember much of what happened. My mind was buzzing most of the time with thoughts so fast I couldn’t distinguish one from the other. I knew I had to make a change.
And that’s when I discovered therapy, holistic remedies, meditation and breathing, and never looked back. It didn’t happen overnight, but over the years my skills built on each other; I also received a lot of help. I had numerous therapists, read dozens of books, went to yoga classes, had healing sessions, and tried a variety of different modalities to see what would help me with what I was struggling with. I wanted to take control of my emotions and my mind. I felt overwhelmed with my feelings and I wanted to turn those feelings into a superpower instead of a curse.
I decided to move to Thailand and through daily practice and a meditation retreat in the heart of the jungle, I learned how to still my mind and body and move through my emotions instead of being overwhelmed by them. I learned how to be still. I then got my Hatha Yoga Certification in India and became a certified yoga teacher. I taught Yoga for a little over a year in the United States and then decided to move abroad again.
I spent a couple years after that in Japan, where I realized that even though I had come far, something that was sitting in the background that I had not gained control of was my eating disorder. It became very clear that I had an eating disorder, something I had not wanted to admit, and I was ready to deal with it. I knew I had made so much progress, and I was ready to figure out why there was still some part of me that did not feel I was worthy or lovable.
I contemplated what was missing from my equation – I had done so much healing and personal work, but still felt that I wasn’t quite “there” yet. I realized, after hours of talking, therapy, and looking inwards, that I did not trust myself or follow my intuition because I was not focusing on the goodness of life, I was still focusing on the fear.
I became laser focused on my goals, my anxiety lessened, and I felt I had control over myself and my life in a way I had never felt before. I studied manifesting and focused on the outcomes I wanted, and since that point, I have had so much goodness come into my life, including a husband, being debt-free, squashing anxiety, and starting my own business.
I wanted to integrate all of my knowledge into a program that would help people put all the parts together just as I had, and do it faster and more efficiently, with a gentle guiding hand. I firmly believe that you, just as I, have always known the answers somewhere deep inside of us; we just needed the support and guidance to get there.
Reading books has changed my life, provided an abundance of inspiration, and completely shifted my mindset.